Sunday, August 2, 2015

You Need Felicity's Ark. This is why.

Way back in 1991, American Girl added Felicity Merriman from the Revolutionary War era in 1774 to their historical characters. With her came a bevy of late 1700s fashions, furniture and accessories. Among them was a miniature Noah's Ark, from her 3rd book Felicity's Surprise.

This ark has always been one of my favorite accessory sets that American Girl created, especially the first version which was revised at the end of 1995/start of 1996. The original version has a blue stripe on the bottom of the boat (maybe to represent water). Also both the Noah and his wife figures had arms that could swing around. Noah actually has a beard and in later versions somehow this beard became a white diamond.

Recently, I was thrilled to finally add this amazing accessory set to my collection! Of course I had to play with it right away, even if it was past midnight. Strange things happen after midnight...

Oh it started out innocently enough:
Day 1 
Noah: Two by two! No pushing! Behave! Pigs, stop trying to eat the sheep!
Wife: Are you sure we have to bring all of them Noah? That's a lot of manure we're going to have to deal with.
Noah: Now dear, we've been over this. Don't you worry about a thing. I'll take care - HEY PIGS! STOP EATING THE SHEEP'S WOOL!
Pigs: Should we tell him that there's potato peelings stuck into wool?
Sheeps: Quick, his back is turned, see if you can get the last pieces!
Horses: *sigh* Domestic animals...
Camels: Please don't fall. Please don't fall. Please don't fall. Please don't fall.
Elephants: Please don't fall. Please don't fall. Please don't fall. Please don't - NOOOO!!!!!

Noah: AHHHHH!!!!!! Hurry and help me get the elephant back up!
Wife: Okay sure! Just let me get my giant crane from the 21st century!
Noah: Not the time for snarky comments!
Elephant: Oh wow, the fall wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.
Camel: *wheeze wheeze wheeze*
Pigs, Sheep, Horses: *standing far back*
Pigs: If the camel goes, I call his food.

Wife: I can't believe you talked me into this. You never said anything about manually shoving an elephant up a ramp Noah!
Noah: Please don't poop. Please don't poop. Please don't poop. Please don't poop.
Horses: A handful of oats says the old guy gets squashed this time.
Sheep: My wool for the next 40 days and 40 nights says the old guy gets pooped on.
Pigs: Does that wool come with potato peelings?

Day 10
Noah: MWAHAHAHA!!!! Argh matey! I be rulin' the ocean blue! Avast me hearties! Or I'll make ye walk the plank!
Elephants: How long do you think he'll keep this up?
Sheep: It's only the 10th day. Surely he'll get tired soon.
Pigs: The horses' handful of oats say he won't.
Horses: Why are we here again?
Camels: Because he promised us we would be saved from drowning and be the progenitors of all our kind.
Horses: So not worth this.

Day 20
Wife: Noah? Where are you? I need your help with getting all the animals' food ready! NOOOOAAAAHHHH!

Noah: Are... you... ready... to... RUUUMBLE? It's the showdown of the flood! Farm animals versus Sub Saharan animals! Who will win?
Horses: What are we battling for?
Camels: I think bragging rights.
Horses: Oh that's so completely worth it. You guys are going down! 
Elephants: Should we tell him his wife is about to reach the decibel that suggests imminent death when she finds him here playing?
Sheep: Nah, he'll figure it out on his own when she drop kicks him into that 21st century she's always going on about.
Pigs: Can I bet another handful of oats his wife will win that showdown?

Day 30
Wife: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! I SPEND ALL MY TIME HERE WORKING AND SLAVING AWAY FOR THOSE ANIMALS YOU INSISTED ON BRINGING AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Noah: A-a-admiring your glowing visage?
Wife: YOU'RE OUT THERE PLAYING PIRATE OR DOWN WITH THE ANIMALS PLAYING WRESTLE MANIA!!! YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING!!!
Noah: Now-now dear, I did build the ark... that is something right?
Wife: I'VE HAD IT UP THROUGH THE 21ST CENTURY WITH YOU NOAH! YOU HAVEN'T DONE A DOLLOP OF WORK ON THIS BOAT! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED THE MANURE!
Noah: *back against wall* We-well... in my defense, it is rather unhygienic. There's so many bacteria that live in - PLEASE PUT THE CLEAVER DOWN! LORD BEFORE YOU SAVE ME FROM THE FLOOD SAVE ME FROM MY WIFE!
Horses: Can you hear what they're saying?
Elephants: How can you not hear what they're saying?
Camel: Shhhhh! What's happening?
Sheep: She's got him backed into a corner! Oh he's definitely lost this round.
Pig: Do you think she'll remember our dinner?

Day 41
Wife: *kissing ground* Oh sweet earth! Oh sweet land! Oh sweet anything but that boat!
Noah: *kissing ground too* Thank you Lord! Thank you for letting me see what any color other than blue looks like! Thank you for keeping me alive despite my wife's best efforts with that cleaver, pitchfork, mallet, and tank from the 21st century!
Elephants: I think we should probably exit last.
Camels: Just don't fall on me again.
Horses: Do you think we can run away before they try to climb on our backs?
Pigs: Do you think there are potato peels here?
Sheep: NO! There are bald spots on our butts thanks to you two!

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why you need to get Felicity's Ark. ^_^

Moral of the story? Playing after midnight can lead to dangerous situations.

~The End~

17 comments:

  1. This is adorable. You are a great storyteller. This is the only item I was able to buy from Felicity's collection before she retired and I am so glad I did!

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    1. Thank you very much! I'm glad you were able to get it before Felicity retired! ^_^

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  2. You had me laughing all the way through! I loved it!

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    1. I love it when my photostories can make people laugh! Thank you! :D

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  3. This is hilarious. I am glad you were finally able to get the ark!

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    1. Thank you very much! The ark is getting alot of play time here, and not by my dolls! ^_~

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  4. Hehe... Probably not accurate, because they wouldn't have gotten off the Ark one the 41st day, but funny nonetheless. ;)

    CutePolarBear

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    1. Haha! I don't know Noah or his wife would survive 378 days so I spared them the agony and ended it with the rains.

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    2. LOL! I loved this. CutePolarBear, Polar Bears Rule!
      My name is Pola, LOL!

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  5. This is hilarious! My grandmother collects Noah's Arks, and she has this set... I may need to steal it now.

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    1. Oh that's so neat! I've never looked into finding an adult sized one but that sounds really cool to have!

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  6. Who won? Farm or SubSarahan?

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    1. I'll leave that to your imagination. :)

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    2. The match was called on account of 21st century interference.

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